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Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

More Falconry Humor

August 27th, 2011

More Falconry Humor

Original Cartoon Can be attributed to Bizzaro Comics.

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Falconry Bumper Stickers

August 22nd, 2011

Falconry Bumper Stickers

I thought I’d have a little fun with some bumper stickers and falconry slogans. If falconry humor was a little more widespread, you might see more of these on the back of some facloner’s cars.

  • My Red-Tail can eat your Kestrel.
  • My Peregrine Falcon can knock your Red-Tail out of the sky.
  • Hoot if you love Owls.
  • Screech if you love Hawks.
  • Stoop if you fall for Falconers.
  • Falconers love rabbits too; in the freezer or in the stew!
  • There’s room for all God’s creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes.
  • Falconers do it in the bushes.
  • Got Talons?
  • I brake for Raptors!
  • My Raptor eats my roadkill.
  • I’d rather be flying my [accipiter | falcon | buteo]
  • My Other car is a Millenium Falcon.
  • Hunt hard, Kill quickly, [waste nothing] Offer no apologies.
  • I do all my own falconry stunts.
  • The Family that Preys together, stays together!
  • Falconry is for the Birds!

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If you have an additional idea for a funny falconry slogan or bumper sticker, please leave a comment!  I’d love to add your addition to the collection!

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A falconry joke that needs a punchline

June 19th, 2011

Greetings!  I need some help finishing a Joke.  This picture is from the little town of ‘Hawks’ in Presque Ilse County, Michigan where the local watering hole is called “The Night Hawk Inn” They host Euchre tournaments, darts and softball games too.  They welcome fishermen, hunters, and sportsmen of all kinds.  I always wondered what would the bartender say if a Falconer walked into this bar with a Hawk in his fist.

” A Falconer walks into a bar and the bartender says…”

“Where did you get that?”  The Hawk Replies:  “In the woods of Northern Michigan, there are hundreds of them!”

If can think of a better punchline, post it here!

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The Wildlife Works Out

May 12th, 2011

If I ever run across a squirrel like this in the wild, I’ll be sure let the hawk tough it out.

Muscle Squirrel


Original Credit and source can be found here.

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You might be a falconer if…

November 22nd, 2010

You might be a falconer if…

You pull out your phone from your pocket and it has tidbits stuck to it.

You open your car door and it smells like death from rotten meat left on the lure.

You crane your neck out the window trying to identify the raptor you saw perched in that tree.

You start talking to your apprentice like Yoda, and they don’t understand why.

You go into a pet store and ask a clerk if they have ‘hawk-chew-toys.’

You have plastic-ware in your refrigerator clearly marked ‘Hawk Food’ so nobody goes snacking on your mice.

You proudly show off your girl to other men and invite them to feel her breast.

Your child’s hamsters or gerbils start missing one at a time.

You don’t mind blood, feathers, fur or meat bits in your truck but freak out when the kids make a mess with their cereal snack bags in the back seat.

You start thinking squirrel tidbits taste good.

You check roadkill for freshness.

Your three year old knows how to identify turkey vultures and red-tail hawks by sight.

You hunt for rabbits with your hawk at Deer Camp right after you shoot your deer and hang it on the buck pole.

Please feel free to leave a comment with your own experience of being a falconer.

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